【赫临译笔】上帝创造父亲

ヮ成熟、羙°

上帝创造父亲

荷叶/译

        上帝创造父亲时，先做了个骨架。近旁的一个女天使说：“这是什么样的父亲？如果你使孩子那么矮，为什么要把父亲造那么高？他不跪下不能和孩子玩弹子球，不俯身无法给孩子盖被子，不弯很大的腰没法亲吻自己的孩子。”

        上帝笑着回答：“是的，但是如果我把他造成孩子的高度，那孩子得去敬仰谁？”

        当上帝给父亲造手时，造得粗大有力。这位天使摇着头伤心地说：“你知道自己在做什么吗？大手粗笨，他们不会往尿布上别别针，不能扣小钮扣，不会在马尾辫上扎橡皮筋，甚至不能清走棒球制造的碎片。

        上帝微笑着说：“这我知道，但这双手大得足以容纳一个小男孩在一天结束时从衣袋里掏出的所有东西，小得足以捧起一张孩子的脸。”

        接着，上帝浇铸了细长的腿和宽宽的肩。

近在咫尺的天使心脏被猛击了一下：“哇，这是周末，好了。”她非难地啧啧说道：“你知道你造的父亲没有大腿吗？如果不能把孩子拢在两腿之间，他怎么让一个孩子亲近他？”

        上帝微笑着说：“母亲需要大腿。父亲需要的是强壮的肩膀去拉动雪橇，去扶孩子骑自行车，去托起那个看完马戏回家时困倦的小脑袋。”

        上帝正在创造一双大得没人见过的脚，这时天使再也控制不住了。“这不公平。你好好想想这两只大船能在婴儿哭时，从床上拔出来吗？在小型生日聚会时，这双大脚至少得踩死仨人。”

        上帝微笑着说：“它们会派上用场的，你等着瞧。这双大脚会支撑一个想骑上小马去坎伯雷的小孩，会吓走夏日小屋里的老鼠，可以让孩子去炫耀一双无人能穿的大鞋。”

        上帝忙活了一夜，它使父亲沉默寡言，声音却坚定而有权威；双目洞察一切，却隐忍镇定。

最后，几乎是追加，上帝添加了眼泪，然后转向天使说：“这下你满意了，他拥有和母亲一样多的爱。”

        天使终于无话可说了。

作者：厄玛邦贝克

附：原文

When the good Lord was creating fathers, he started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of father is that? If you're goingto make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high?He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."

And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?"

And when God made a father' hands, they were large and sinewy.

And the angel shook her head sadly and said, " Do You know what You're doing? Large hands areclumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on ponytails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."

God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day, and get small enough to cup a child's face."

Then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.

The angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week,all right," she clucked. "Do You realize you just made a father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?"

God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That' not fair. DoYou honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?"

And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small child who wants to "ride a horse to Banbury Cross" or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."

God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that see everything, but remain calm and tolerant.

Finally, almost as an afterthought, He added tears. Then He turned tothe angel and said, "Now are you satisfied that he can love as much as amother?"

And the angel shutteth up!
----By Erma Bombeck

丛中笑

“上帝”按照父亲的形象和责任“创造”“父亲”。呵呵。

ヮ成熟、羙°

丛中笑 发表于 2014-3-11 21:07
“上帝”按照父亲的形象和责任“创造”“父亲”。呵呵。

父亲和母亲的职责是不同的。

丛中笑

ヮ成熟、羙° 发表于 2014-3-12 05:37
父亲和母亲的职责是不同的。