本帖最后由 ヮ成熟、羙° 于 2014-7-7 22:03 编辑
论家庭 荷叶/译 父母的欢乐，悲伤和恐惧都是隐秘的，他们无法说出做父母的欢乐，又不愿说出做父母的悲伤和恐惧。子女使辛劳变得甜蜜，也使不幸变得更加苦涩。子女加重了生活的负担，也减缓了人们对死亡的念念不忘。代代相传在动物界司空见惯，但记忆，荣誉和高贵的作品则为人类所特有。当然，可以看到最高贵的作品及基业来自无儿无女的人，因为他们试图用头脑的产物来弥补身体方面的缺陷。因此，最关心下一代的，却是那些没有后代的人。家族最初的创业者，往往对子女最骄纵，因为他们视其为自己种族和工作的延续。人和动物概莫能外。 父母对于自己的多个子女的疼爱程度不同，这在很多时候是不平等的，有时是不合理的，尤其体现在母亲身上。正如所罗门所说，智慧之子使父亲心生欢喜，而无礼之子则使母亲蒙羞。人们看到，在一个多子多女的家庭，一两个长子会受到尊重，最小的子女的会变得嬉戏享乐，中间的子女往往会被遗忘，而他们则多数情况下被证明是最好的。在零用钱方面，父母对子女心生吝啬，这是不对的，往往有害。这会使孩子们变得卑劣，学会推诿，结交坏人，当有了足够的钱时，会过度消费。因此，最好是管理孩子，而不是管理他们的钱包。人们（父母，校长和仆人）有个愚蠢的做法，就是对少年的兄弟进行比较，这在多数情况下会导致兄弟成年不和，造成家庭纷扰。 意大利人对子女，侄子，或是近亲属都一视同仁，只要是同一家族，他们不计较是否己出。说实话，实质上他们确实很像，只要有血缘，我们有时见到侄子更像叔叔或其它近亲，而不像父母。 父母很早就给子女选择职业和要走的道路，因为那时他们最有可塑性，但不要因为认为孩子最喜欢什么，就过度介入对他们的安排，多数父母都乐意这样做。当然，如果孩子在某方面有超常的情感或倾向，最好不要埋没它。但就一般情况说，下面这句箴言是很有用的：“长期的训练会通过适应化难为易。”通常得不到财产继承权的幼子是幸运的，而那些被剥夺了继承权的长子却罕有幸运的。 附：原文 The joys of parents are secret; and so are their griefs and fears. They cannot utter the one; nor they will not utter the other. Children sweeten labors; but they make misfortunes more bitter. They increase the cares of life;but they mitigate theremembrance of death. The perpetuity bygeneration is common to beasts; but memory, merit, and noble works, are proper to men. And surely a man shall see the noblest works and foundations have proceeded from childless men; which have sought to express the images of theirminds, where those of their bodies have failed. So the care of posterity is most in them, that haveno posterity. They that are the first raisers of their houses, are most indulgent towards theirchildren; beholding them as the continuance, not only of their kind, but of their work; and so both children and creatures. The difference in affection, of parents towards their several children, is many times unequal;and sometimes unworthy; especially in the mothers; as Solomon saith, A wise sonrejoiceth the father, but an ungracious son shames the mother. A man shall see, where there is a house full of children,one or two of the eldest respected, and the youngest made wantons; but in the midst, some that are as it were forgotten, who many times, nevertheless, prove the best. The illiberality of parents, in allowance towards their children, is an harmful error; makes them base; acquaints them with shifts; makes them sort with mean company; and makes them surfeit more when they come to plenty. Andtherefore the proof is best, when men keep their authority towards the children, but not their purse. Men have a foolish manner (both parents and schoolmasters and servants) in creating and breeding an emulation between brothers, during childhood, which many times sorteth to discord when they are men, and disturbeth families. The Italians make little difference between children, and nephews or near kinsfolks; but so they be of the lump, they care not though they pass not through their own body. And, to say truth, in nature it is much a likematter; insomuch that wesee a nephew sometimes resembleth an uncle, or a kinsman, more than his own parent; as the blood happens. Let parents choose betimes, the vocations and courses they mean their children should take; for then they are most flexible;and let them not too much apply themselves to the disposition of their children, as thinking they will take best to that, which they have most mind to. It is true, that if the affection or aptness of the children be extraordinary, then it is good not to cross it; but generally the precept is good, optimum elige, suave et facileillud faciet consuetudo.Younger brothers are commonly fortunate, but seldom or never where the elder are disinherite. | 
发表于 2014-7-7 22:01:38
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