本帖最后由 ヮ成熟、羙° 于 2013-11-8 21:51 编辑
你的幸福你的责任
荷叶/译
“只有自己能给自己幸福。”这句话我们一生中都听过很多遍。
有时这是一颗难以吞咽的药丸。事实上，你周围的人对你的情绪有很大影响。早晨孩子们脾气暴躁，一夜之间狗狗留下了一大堆东西，上了公路交通让你不能以正常速度行驶，接着到了单位，同事因病打来电话……所有这一切都会影响你这一天的综合幸福指数。
然而，情绪和一时的情感与幸福不一样。当你展望生活全景露出笑容时，这才是幸福。你知道有时你迫不及待地等着孩子们上床，然后，看着他们香香甜甜的睡相，你几乎会叫出声来，因为他们和天使一模一样，他们是你的天使。你不记得和他们在一起有过烦恼时刻。那就是幸福。
随着生活的发展变化，我们认识到自己是谁，什么使我们变成现在这样，我们的责任所在。我们懂得当前的快感或烦恼只能抚慰或恶化我们短期的情感刺激。对自己的全面看法决定着心境。心境决定幸福。
那我们怎样才能控制自己的情感，找到通往幸福之路呢？这似乎是个价值连城的问题。论述这一话题或与此有关的书籍车载斗量。你可以去读去实践，直到完全困惑。或者，你可以反省余生，评估一下什么能使自己幸福。这可能会花费很多时间和精力，同时也会使自己懊恼连连。
这又怎么样？当我们审视自己，决定喜欢什么不喜欢什么，然后着手做些改变会怎么样？这不需什么大的改变。也许你住烦了自己的房子，可又搬不起家。那就漆一下起居室，或买些花摆放在操作台上。如果有一段时间没有假期，或付不起船费，那就去野营吧。
也许你的问题更加个人化和内在化。经常发怒吗？去练瑜伽或打坐。有婚姻问题吗？找个顾问咨询一下。孩子们有纪律问题吗？找出主要问题，确定改进方针，然后坚持下去。
你可能会说：“当然了，这听起来容易，可……”问题谈起来总是要比采取显而易见的措施修正来得容易。但一般说来，问题的难易程度与我们测定的一样。我们有时只是小题大做。
如果不幸福源自你控制不了的情况，那就去找其它的补偿方法。例如，如果钱太紧张，近期又没有意外的收益，那就找些不花钱的娱乐活动。后院里去玩球，公园里去野餐，卧室里边吃爆米花吃零食边看电视，不要去外面消费。如果问题更加严重，你感觉无能为力，那就该去寻求专业帮助了。
否则，对着镜子，开心起来。如果不喜欢自己所看到的形象，去改变它。解决方案就这样简单！
附：原文
"You are the only one who can make you happy." We have all heard that so many times in our lives. There are times itis a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround youhave a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in themorning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road andthe traffic won't allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work andyour co-worker called in sick... these are all things that might contribute toyour overall Happiness of the day. However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile, that is happiness. Youknow those times when you can't wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels... YOUR ANGELS, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is Happiness. As life progresses and changes, we realize that who we are, (what makes us, us)... that is what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation onlypacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determinesour Happiness. So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject.You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. Which might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more. How about this?What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn't like and set about making changes. It doesn't have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can't afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven't had a vacation for a while and just can't afford to take that cruise, go camping instead. Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kidshaving discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines onhow you are going to correct the problem and stick to it. You may be saying,'Sure, that sounds so easy but...' Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But,for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them tobe. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary. If your unHappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate.If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your wayany time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics inthe park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help. Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don't like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!
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发表于 2013-11-8 21:44:08
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