本帖最后由 ヮ成熟、羙° 于 2013-9-10 11:41 编辑
男人的哭泣方式
荷叶/译
真男人不哭，只是眼中有点潮湿而已。
从汉普郡的家里走不多远，是一个山坡，山坡俯看着一块荒地，荒地上有一座石碑，石碑标记了一个地点，在这里理查德Pryce琼斯在战争中故意坠落了他驾驶的哈利法克斯式轰炸机。他本可以跳伞逃生，但那意味着飞机会坠落在村子里。他的墓碑铭文是：他的死带来了别人的生。
每次看到这些都使我感动，不是流泪，这你知道。那将会是对死者的不敬。但我却能在男人的情感库中成功地提取到：喉咙哽咽，双目笼罩上一层水汽。戈登·布朗在唐宁街十号告别演讲上的表现十分优雅。他抑制住了喉咙的哽咽，没有当众流泪。那时，而不是其它任何时候，他是高贵的。
并非每个人都能成功地应对感动。比如，我认为保罗·加斯科因就没能很好地掌握这一技巧。但是我认为我对此已形成一种艺术，这种技巧来自多年的观察和磨练。西雅图无眠的铁路儿童，还有在小飞象节目中，母象被锁起来的场景。我儿子会用指责的手指指着我说：“爸爸，你哭了。”
“我哭了？为小飞象而哭？哈哈哈，没有，儿子，我这是男人的哭泣，一种没有哭声的哭泣。总有一天我会教会你的，非常有用。”
他们太小还不能体会其中的细微差别，但当他们长大点，我会解释当众哭泣只属于女性，对男人不合适。查理·卓别林的一个比拟非常有用，他说表演醉汉就是把自己想象成一个醉酒的人却装成没有醉一样。学习没有哭声的哭泣和这是同一道理。再明确一点，就是你要看上去好像在刻意避免流泪。
在这方面，一个年轻人理解男性和女性的不同非常重要。记得在一次午餐时，我曾经问过女演员艾米利，她是否能在当时当地哭出来。让大家惊讶的是，她能，站起来就哭。大量的眼泪顺着双颊流了下来。哭完后，微笑立刻回到了脸上。
那是女人的眼泪，没有人说得清理由，你从没听人说过：“这足以让一人成熟的女人流泪。”这句话只有用在成熟男人身上才有意义，虽然稍嫌赘述，但成熟二字事出有因。并非所有的男人都是成熟男人。例如，那些在X因素节目中，因不能继续展示才能而情绪失控，哭泣而大出风头的人就不是成熟男人。男人要慎重选择为何事而哭，因为有些主题比其它主题更值得流泪。悲伤，很显然是一个。而自怜不是。你很少见一个男人因为痛苦而哭泣，也不会看见他为一个不认识的公主而流泪。这是法则。
我想我的同事马特·普里切特在这一点上会和我看法一致。他上周在一个卡通片里展示了一位在电视旁，正看世界杯的父亲，他对孩子们解释说：“以后几周的某个时间你们会看到我流泪。”在胜利大逃亡的最后一个幸存者死亡时，画面上出现了一个墓碑，一个被掏空土的坟冢，画面逐渐消失。当我观看时，眼睛湿润了。我想当他画时，他的眼睛也应是潮湿的。
附：原文
Real men don't cry. We just get something in our eye A short walk from my house in Hampshire, on a hill overlooking the heathland, is a plaque marking the spot where Richard Pryce Jones deliberately crashed his Halifax bomber during the war. He could have parachuted to safety, but that would have meant crashing into the village. The epitaph reads: "He died that others might live." It never fails to move me. Not to tears, you understand. That would be disrespectful. But I do usually manage a lump in the throat and that film of moisture over the eyes that men have in their emotional armoury. Gordon Brown demonstrated the non-crying cry beautifully when he made his farewell speech on the steps of Number 10. That catch in the throat. The determination not to weep in public. At that moment, if at no other, he had nobility. Not everyone can carry it off. I don't think Paul Gascoigne ever quite got the hang of it, for example. But I like to think I have it down to an art, my technique honed from years of watching The Railway Children, Sleepless in Seattle and that scene in Dumbo when the mother elephant is locked away. "Daddy!" my sons will say, pointing the accusing finger. "You're crying!" "Me? Over Dumbo? Ha ha ha. No, boys, what I am doing is man-crying, a sort of non-crying cry. I'll teach you it one day. Very useful." They are too young to appreciate the nuance yet, but when they are older I will explain that open sobbing is associated with being female, and so inappropriate for men. The Charlie Chaplin analogy might be useful here. He once said that the way to act drunk is to imagine yourself a drunk man trying to act sober. The same is true when a man learns the non-crying cry. To be convincing, you must look as if you are trying to avoid tears. In this respect, it is important for a young man to appreciate the difference between male tears and female. I remember once asking the actress Emilia Fox if she could cry at will, right there and then, over lunch. To my astonishment, she could – from a standing start. Fat tears rolling down her cheeks. When she had finished, she resumed her smiling countenance. Those are female tears, and the reason you never hear anyone say: "It's enough to make a grown woman cry." That expression only works when it refers to "grown men" and though that may seem tautological, the "grown" is justified. Not all men are grown. The emotionally incontinent exhibitionists who cry when they are kicked off talent shows such as The X Factor are not grown men, for example. Men have to be careful what they cry at, because some subjects are more worthy of tears than others. Grief, obviously. But not self-pity. And rarely should a man cry in pain. And never at the death of a princess he didn't know. Those are the rules. I suspect my colleague Matt Pritchett might be with me on this. One of his cartoons this past week showed a father next to a television tuned to the World Cup, explaining to his children that "at some point in the next few weeks, you are going to see me cry". And the day after the last survivor of the Great Escape died, he did a cartoon showing a gravestone with a mound of tunnelled earth trailing away from it. I seemed to have something in my eye when I saw that, and I expect he had the same something in his eye when he drew it. | 
发表于 2013-9-10 11:31:05
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发表于 2013-9-11 21:57:26
