本帖最后由 ヮ成熟、羙° 于 2014-4-12 13:00 编辑
事业和爱情 荷叶/译 选择事业还是爱情是个极其私人和个体化的决定。许多因素影响着我们的选择，许多人找到了允许我们兼而有之，实现二者平衡的健康的生活方式。除去实实在在地付掉账单外，事业有成还给人一种自我实现的成就感。许多人的自我认同感来自于他们所做的事情，从而把他们的事业提升到一个重要人生水准。 同时，也有一些人以美满的家庭生活作为衡量成功的尺度。他们把自我认同感建立在孩子们的成就上，从配偶的爱和支持中获取自我价值。 你在生活中不能或不愿二者兼顾时会怎样呢？尽管最幸福最健康的人士成功地实现了这一平衡，但并非人人都能做到。当你思索何者更为重要时，请考虑以下因素。
一 年轻时可能事业更为重要 如今许多人先立业后成家。理由是，当一个人年轻时，他无牵无挂，可以把全部的时间和精力投入事业。如果年轻时有远大报负，此时恰是朝这个目标努力的时候。 你一旦结婚，开始组建了家庭，你的很多时间和精力必然会投入家庭，也理应如此。如果不想要把自己的时间和注意倾注到自己所爱的人身上，就不该开始组建家庭。 许多人功成名就后，会更加情愿把全部身心倾注于家庭，这使他们更感舒适。到他们真正安顿下来时，对于承担家庭责任会准备得更加充分。
二 年龄大些再去相爱可能会更好 现在越来越多的人在决定成家时选择了等待。直到三十大几或四十出头再谈婚论嫁已司空见惯。推迟成家会使人为其义务做出更好的准备，并更有可能与自己最重要的目标和价值保持联系。这样，你就有机会完全长大，极大地降低那种“错失”的感觉。你就有机会清除掉年轻时的愚蠢鲁莽，同时对自己的成熟智慧更有信心。
三 两者兼顾 如果你能找到既能体验爱情快乐又能保持事业成功的平衡时，你才能拥有真正幸福美满的生活。一个有爱的家庭会帮你庆祝所有的成功，帮你重拾信心，走出失败。许多人在收获着人生爱情事业双丰收的丰厚回报，并正在寻找着二者的平衡。 生活中只有事业，或只有痴迷的爱情而阻碍了个人发展，都不大可能是健康或有意义的生活方式。我们的个人需要和自我价值需要实现，这通常从成功的事业中获得。我们的心灵需要滋养，需要伴侣扶助我们走过人生，这通常来自于有爱的家庭关系。 真正健康均衡的人会认识到二者兼顾的好处。他会采取措施努力实现二者的平衡，这对确保事业的继续发展和培养保持健康的家庭关系都很必要。只有能够维持这种微妙的平衡，我们才能开发出生活的最大潜能。 附：原文 Choosing a career over love The choice between having a career or making time forlove is an extremely personal and individual decision. There are many factorswhich can affect your choice, and there are many people who have discovered howto achieve a healthy work life balance that allows them to have both. Careersand love fulfill us in different but important ways. Having a solid careergives us a sense of accomplishment and self worth, aside from thepracticalities of paying the bills. Many people develop their entire identitybased upon what they do, elevating their career to a level of great importancein their lives. Then there are those who measure their success interms of having a pleasant and rewarding Home life. They develop theiridentities based upon the accomplishments of their children, and derive theirself worth through the love and support of a spouse. So what happens if you cannot or do not wish to makeroom in your life for both? While the happiest and healthiest people havemanaged to develop a work life balance that allows for both, it may not be foreveryone. Consider these factors when pondering which is more important foryou. 1. Your career May be More Important When You areYoung Many people these days focus on careers first andfamily later. The reasoning is that, while you are young and unencumbered, youhave the time and energy to fully devote yourself to a career. If you havelofty career ambitions while you are young, it may indeed be the time to startmaking progress towards those goals. Once you get married and begin to build a family, muchof your time and energy – by necessity – becomes devoted to your family. Thisis as it should be. You should not start a family unless you are willing todevote time and attention to your loved ones. Many people who accomplish great success in theircareers when they are young, and establish themselves in a secure position, arethen more willing and comfortable later on to devote themselves to family. Bythe time they do settle down, they are more prepared to handle theresponsibility. 2. Falling in Love can be Better When You are Older More and more people these days are choosing to waitwhen it comes to making decisions about family. It is not unusual for people todelay marriage until their late 30's or even their early 40's. Delaying familydecisions allows you to be better prepared for those obligations, and creates abetter likelihood that you are in touch with your most important goals andvalues. You have had the opportunity to completely grow up, greatly reducingthe chances of feeling like you are “missing out.” You have had the chance topurge the foolishness of youth from your system and are now confident with thewisdom of maturity. 3. Choosing Both If you can find a work life balance that allows you toexperience the joys of love and maintain a successful career, you will have atruly happy and rewarding life. A loving family at Home can help you celebrateall of your successes, and bolster your confidence through your failures. Thereare many people out there reaping the tremendous rewards that come withincluding love and work in their lives, and finding the balance that allows forboth. A life that only has room for a career, or thatincludes a consuming love that stifles your personal development, is likely nota lifestyle that is healthy or fulfilling. Our personal needs and feelings ofself worth need to be met, which is normally gained from having a good career.Our hearts and souls need to be nourished, and we need companionship to supportus through life, which normally are derived from loving relationships. The truly healthy and well balanced person willrecognize the benefits of having both. He or she will take steps to achieve thework life balance necessary to assure the continuation of career growth whilenurturing and maintaining the health of personal relationships. It is only whenwe can maintain this delicate balance that we are living life to its greatestpotential.
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发表于 2014-4-12 12:57:15
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