本帖最后由 ヮ成熟、羙° 于 2014-1-8 02:56 编辑
寻找内心那一泓清泉
荷叶/译
你有多少次因别人没有做自己那份工作，孩子表现不好，友伴没有履约而烦恼？
你有多少次当别人做事没有按照你习惯的方式，或当你仔细规划了一件事情，而结果没能如愿时而恼怒？
这种恼怒发生在每个人身上，这是人生体验的一部分。
让人恼怒的事很多，比如看电影时有人说话，有人挡道，或饭后不收拾等诸如此类的小事。谁不这样呢？
而人们一旦心烦或恼怒，就很难平复。
让我告诉你一个找到平和心态的小秘密---视杯如已碎。
你瞧！压力和恼怒的根源在于事情没有按我们喜欢、我们期待的方式发展。想想你有多少次是这样？
因此，解决方案很简单：预料事情会出错，预料事情的发展与我们所希望、所计划的不同，预料意想不到的事情会发生。并接受这一切。
举一个简单的例子：在我们最近一次旅行中，我告诉孩子们要预料到会出错，旅途中常常如此。我告诉他们：“把这次旅行视为一次冒险行为。”
像施了符咒一样，事情果然如我所料。当我们不可避免地错上了一辆用外语服务的地铁时，当我们到达迪斯尼海洋馆天降大雨时，当我们换乘了三班地铁，走了十个街区，却发现国家儿童城堡周一闭馆时，孩子们说：“这是冒险的一部分。”一切正常，我们并没有生多大气。
因此，当将来有一天，你买来的漂亮的杯子不可避免地掉落地上，碎裂成片时，你可能烦恼。但如果你从得到这个杯子那一天起，就把它看作已经碎裂时，你就不会烦恼了。做一个时光穿越者，或具有时光穿越视角的人，看到这个杯子的未来，从此刻穿越到它不可避免的碎裂之时。
当杯子真正碎裂时，你就不会烦恼和伤心---因为从你得到它的时刻起，它已经碎裂了。你会意识到：你拥有它的分分秒秒都是宝贵的。
预料孩子们会把事情搞砸，所有的孩子都这样。当他们把事情搞砸时，当他们没按照“应该”去做时，请不要生气，因为他们就应该把事情搞砸。
不要期待你的伙伴会十全十美；
不要期待你的朋友会有招必来；
不要期待事事会如约而行；
不要期待人们会永远礼貌；
不要期待工友会时时履约；
不要期待室友会次次洗盘子，收衣服；
预料到杯子会碎裂。
并接受现实。
你改变不了这些不可避免的事实，它们终会发生。如果在事情发生以前，你就预料到它会发生，或视之为已经发生，你就不会烦恼了。
你会做出适当的反应， 而不会有过激行为。你可以和当事人交谈，诚恳地请他们考虑一下你的感受，但不要过于情绪化，过分夸大事实。
你会微笑着认为：“我预料到了会这样。杯子已经碎裂。我接受现实。”
你会有个平和的心态。朋友，这种心态是一种大受欢迎的惊喜。
附：原文
How many times have you gotten upset because someone wasn’t doing their job, because your child isn’t behaving, because your partner or friend isn’t living up to his orher end of the bargain? How many times have you been irritated when someone doesn’t do things the way you’re used to?Or when you’ve planned something carefully and things didn’t go as you’d hoped? This kind of anger and irritation happens to all of us — it’s part of the human experience. One thing that irritates me is when people talk during a movie. Or cut me off in traffic. Ordon’t wash their dishes after eating. Actually, I have a lot of these little annoyances — don’t we all? And it isn’t always easy to find peace when you’ve become upset or irritated. Let me let you inon a little secret to finding peace of mind: see the glass as already broken. See, the cause of our stress, anger and irritation is that things don’t go the way we like, the way we expect them to. Think of how many times this has been true for you. And so the solution is simple: expect things to go wrong, expect things to be different than we hoped or planned, expect the unexpected to happen. And accept it. One quick example n our recent trip to Japan,I told my kids to expect things to go wrong — they always do on a trip. I told them, “See it as part of the adventure.” And this worked like a charm. When we inevitably took the wrong train on a foreign-language subway system, or when it rained on the day we went to Disney Sea,or when we took three trains and walked 10 blocks only to find the National Children’s Castle closed on Mondays … they said, “It’s part of the adventure!”And it was all OK — we didn’t get too bothered. So when the nice glass you bought inevitably falls and breaks, someday, you might get upset. But not if you see the glass as already broken, from the day you get it. You know it’ll break someday, so from the beginning, see it as already broken. Be a time-traveler, or someone with time-traveling vision, and see the future of this glass, from this moment until it inevitably breaks. And when it breaks, you won’t be upset or sad — because it was already broken, from the day you got it. And you’ll realize that every moment you have with it is precious. Expect your child to mess up — all children do. And don’t get so upset when they mess up, when they don’t do what they’re “supposed” to do … because they’re supposed to mess up. Expect your partner to be less than perfect. Expect your friend to not show up sometimes. Expect things to go not according to plan. Expect people to be rude sometimes. Expect coworkers not to come through sometimes. Expect roommates not to wash their dishes or pick up their clothes, sometimes. Expect the glass to break. And accept it. You won’t change these inevitable facts — they will happen, eventually. And if you expect it to happen — even see it as already happening, before it happens — you won’t get soupset. You won’t overreact. You’ll respond appropriately, but not overreact. You can talk to the person about their behavior, and ask them kindly to consider your feelings when they do this … but you won’t get overly emotional and blow things out of proportion. You’ll smile, and think, “I expected that to happen. The glass was already broken. And I accept that.” You’ll have peace of mind. And that, my friends, is a welcome surprise. | 
发表于 2014-1-8 02:46:58
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发表于 2014-1-8 21:51:40
